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| Principles for Overcoming Sex Addiction |  The most common form of sexual addiction is masturbation with pornography. The sexually addicted person uses it the same way as alcoholic uses booze. When he is tired, feeling alone, bored, irritated, depressed, whatever, he uses his addiction to change his mood. Ask him why he did it; he'll tell you, "I just felt like doing it."
Ironically, "Just do it" wastes time. Addicted people lose years trying to "Just do it" until they understand there is no fast fix. Had they approached their addiction properly, they could have conquered it in less time than they wasted on trying for the quick fix.
Another principle: Every addiction is unique.
For example, 12-step programs fail at helping people conquer sex addiction because all 12-step programs are a carbon copy of the original Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step approach. Sex addiction is not alcoholism.
The next principle: "Don't expect anyone to overcome your addiction for you. It's up to you."
The motivational golden rule regarding intimacy: "Overcoming sex addiction properly will bring you the most joyous intimacy you have ever experienced." The best sex is genuine, loving sex. Addictive sex is not loving.
And the last one: Find a good counselor.
A good counselor is a guide, not a boss. He doesn't tell you what to do. He assists you to make your own decisions. A good counselor is not a cheerleader. He doesn't support everything you do. He tells you when he thinks you're mistaken. His purpose is to help you achieve the best life possible.
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